16 November, 2005

you know you’re a…

Friskodude pulls together a collection of light-hearted stereotype jokes. You know you’re an (ethnicity/nationality) when…

YouknowindonYou Know You’re Indonesian When…

Your stomach growls when you don’t eat rice for a day.

You believe kecap ABC could turn bad cooking to gourmet food.

You talk during a movie.

You eat fried rice in the morning.

You prefer Versace or Moschino jeans over Gap or Levi’s.

You don’t think Jim Carrey is funny.

YouknowchinaYou Know You’re Chinese When:

You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year.

You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.

When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.

You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.

Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.

You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.

YouknowmalayYou Know You’re Malaysian When…

You complain about the quality of the pirated DVD you just purchased. "What, RM10 for DVD5?! Aiyah, boss … sound no good, cheaperlah …"

You’re willing to consume sambal petai and durian and gladly suffer the bloating and wind-breaking incidents.

You’re exceedingly polite to the Mat Sallehs but you slag your own kind. "Hello, sir. Why don’t you sit here, it?s got the best view of the city skyline." But, "Aunty-ah, your table is over there next to the kitchen."

You order Maggi goreng and fried chicken, complain about how oily the food is, and then proceed to finish it anyway.

Also see you know you’re a Korean, Japanese and Indian when…

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by @ 9:47 pm. Filed under Japan, Blogs, China, India, Malaysia, Indonesia, Asia, East Asia, Northeast Asia, Southeast Asia

chongqing women slimming program

HK Dave reports that Chongqing has decided its biggest tourist attraction is its women, and that they have a special slimming regiment.:

To paraphrase, of course, the chorus of the famous Beach Boys tune. I have read, shall we say, with interest, that the city government has declared their women the city’s top tourist attraction. Apparently the Sichuan babes from Chongqing (yes that’s Chungking for you Nationalists and HK Indian food-lovers) trumped the city’s other major export - oops, I mean attraction, Sichuan hotpot.

I mean, I have heard from everyone that’s been there that the city is an ugly place, but I do find it strange that the city government would declare open season on its own women for legions of domestic tourists, many with a penchant for whoring. Allow me to quote in closing for the city’s explanation of why their women are the hottest:

The city’s climate and migrant background have made it a place famous for beautiful women, the paper said. High humidity and cloudy skies are good for their skin, while the bumpy roads and spicy food help to shape their slim figures, it said.

 0 01 08 69 1086946 474988

See Chongqing, we have beautiful women and bumpy roads!

Singaporean men who are too desperate for the government’s Single Desperate & Ugly Social Development Unit’s matchmaking service have also been known to favor Chongqiing.

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by @ 9:24 pm. Filed under Singapore, China, Asia, East Asia, Northeast Asia, Southeast Asia

panda bliss

Wonkette brings us news that Thailand has decided that no pandas should be born out of wedlock.:

Panda Stand InsMany thanks to Thailand for being the first country to take steps against the epidemic of out-of-wedlock panda births. The Thai zoo’s two pandas are presumed to start mating soon, “But the zoo wanted them to be married first.” Of course. Single-panda motherhood is well known to be the root cause of rising panda unemployment and high crime rates in panda neighborhoods. Did you know that in America, there are more pandas in zoos than in college?

(h/t Magnoy’s Samsara)

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by @ 8:58 pm. Filed under Asia, East Asia, Southeast Asia, Thailand

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