AsiaPundit still cannot find humor in this year’s natural disasters*, especially as the anniversary of the tsunami was only days ago. Nevertheless, here are the Asia-related items from the Onion’s 2005 top-10 stories:

#2 Asian Tsunami, Hurricane Katrina, Kashmir Earthquake Battle for Natural Disasty Award

LOS ANGELES—In a night destined to provide "major upsets in the natural order," three of the biggest stars of the weather, pestilence or general phenomenon community will battle it out Friday for the title of Best Disaster of 2005. "Even though Katrina’s casualty count wasn’t as high as the South Asian tsunami, it possibly spelled the demise of an entire American city," said Rolling Stone writer and cultural commentator Touré. "And since it appears that the Kashmir earthquake’s strategy of playing to critics late in the season backfired, it looks like the hurricane definitely has the edge to win the Disasty." Touré added that Kashmir’s earthquake had a virtual lock on the Lifetaking Achievement Award.

# 4 North Korea Nukes Self in Desperate Plea for Attention:

PYONGYANG—Frustrated that its megalomaniacal outbursts no longer inspire fear and panic in the international community, the nation of North Korea detonated all six of its nuclear warheads early Thursday morning, killing 32 million in what international observers are calling "a pathetic bid for attention."

"This is very typical and melodramatic," South Korean President Roo Moo-hyun said yesterday. "North Korea has been ‘acting out’ for years—decorating its country with provocative posters, never leaving its borders, and getting aggressive with those closest to it. It has been this way ever since it was grounded from the national stage." UN officials are advising nations who feel self-destructive to speak to allies or counselors.

*AsiaPundit, obviously a sick man, can still find humor in fictional democide and North Korean nuclear activities.

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